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‚ô• Monday, May 29, 2006
11:03 PM

right i went crazy again. When everyone got all the music instruments. for the L shape room in SU campsite. I said why have all the instruments. 1 guitar is already enough.. Does we need so much instruments to worship God. Or is it for the fun the music is worship to God.I could not even define worship myself. Well thanks samwong. Worship is about giving and pure adoration. moments of refreshing are bonuses from God. That is what worship really is. There's no need to go get drums bass keyboard guitars and everything. I guess. I'm having a big problem. I'm losing all the faith. Basically.. I have 0 faith with people. But for very few. I still have some left. But most . I have zero faith. That I could not trust anyone right now. Because I'll search into the motives of people. Why are u doing that. You claim you're doing for God. But how sure are you doing for God. I'm doubting. I'm suspecting. That's what I'm going thru. Then, God gave me a verse. Jesus said to her." I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this ? John 11:25-26. All i need is just believe in God. Don't trust in the world anymore. because I'll end up getting hurt once again. Losing the hope He gave. the Hope he returned me.I guess I'm the one who believes in God and will live though even I die. which meant. I'll just have to believe in God. Even how bad it is . You feel even like crap or anything. I simply have to trust God. Indeed. my thinking have deepened.. so much so much.. I'm thinking too much too much.. I'm so tired of everything. I've stepped out of tapestry because of similar reasons. I don't know what is the objective to tapestry. what's the goal of it.. to train musicians. or is it really for outreach. If you want to chuck in outreach because it's a church thing. I guess it's wrong. Because of this you want that. Is it correct ? it's half right and wrong. But I don't want to chuck in God like in the middle of such things. If you have never put God right for the goal of the event. then don't do this to God. Worshipping God means a lot a lot to me. So much dearest to me. That my eyes opened wide and see this world. seriously. I need a great dose of peace..