I'm back. stressed out. so stress.. pulling my hair now. argh. So busy. guess what. I have full packed holidays.. the 2 weeks. How about that. I only have 1 day of holiday I say. From now till 23 June is fully packed already. It meant no movies, no hanging out and all. Then after 23 June would be project dateline. I feel like horrible. so tired. I've been skipping trainings. well. I'm not going to care anymore. I'm super tired and need a break. I have so many things going on..I'm going a day earlier for church camp. yeah!! take a break. then 15 June when camp ends. I got to rush to my friend's place to do project. staying over again. right. but I love my group. My darlings. haha. Well, my group rocks. they are basically all girls. so like a girls night out! hee. alright. projects projects and projects. Then 19th June is my cell outing. woo Hoo. Finally. shawn and serene. finalise things alright. well, then 21 to 23 june is sonicfest. what more can I say. I've been waiting for it for a long time. A wonderful holiday with God huh? All my days are spent in church camp.. church friends of course my best friend from church. hee. I still cant get the graffiti shirt that marcus wong wore out of my mind. It's really cool and nice. I want to be able to such de-signs one day. I'm off to start mugging. have not even touch IEF yet. I better start. alright. tata.

went to church of our saviour today. to get some registration stuff done. i've registered sonicfest bootcamp with sarah. I need to hear God. I've been going sonicfest for 3 years already.. Yup. I'm very happy with this. Met the festival director. marcus. I've seen him last year because I was in sonicfest crew too. then I reach there early. thank God they came very quickly to save me from that afternoon heat.. phew. Well, I'm happy because I signed up early and I'm simply paying 15 dollars per person for the conference. :) . Well, I'm not going to ask who wants to sign up anymore. because, no one is interested but I am. I'm very happy serving God there at sonicfest. so yup. I'll go back there once again. I like the shirt though.. whatever it is.. I'll start saving till sonicfest.. T-shirts. i want them.. haha. I love the grafitit t shirt :) well.. I got to mug now.. thanks joel for the email. I'll try to remember it..

right i went crazy again. When everyone got all the music instruments. for the L shape room in SU campsite. I said why have all the instruments. 1 guitar is already enough.. Does we need so much instruments to worship God. Or is it for the fun the music is worship to God.I could not even define worship myself. Well thanks samwong. Worship is about giving and pure adoration. moments of refreshing are bonuses from God. That is what worship really is. There's no need to go get drums bass keyboard guitars and everything. I guess. I'm having a big problem. I'm losing all the faith. Basically.. I have 0 faith with people. But for very few. I still have some left. But most . I have zero faith. That I could not trust anyone right now. Because I'll search into the motives of people. Why are u doing that. You claim you're doing for God. But how sure are you doing for God. I'm doubting. I'm suspecting. That's what I'm going thru. Then, God gave me a verse. Jesus said to her." I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this ? John 11:25-26. All i need is just believe in God. Don't trust in the world anymore. because I'll end up getting hurt once again. Losing the hope He gave. the Hope he returned me.I guess I'm the one who believes in God and will live though even I die. which meant. I'll just have to believe in God. Even how bad it is . You feel even like crap or anything. I simply have to trust God. Indeed. my thinking have deepened.. so much so much.. I'm thinking too much too much.. I'm so tired of everything. I've stepped out of tapestry because of similar reasons. I don't know what is the objective to tapestry. what's the goal of it.. to train musicians. or is it really for outreach. If you want to chuck in outreach because it's a church thing. I guess it's wrong. Because of this you want that. Is it correct ? it's half right and wrong. But I don't want to chuck in God like in the middle of such things. If you have never put God right for the goal of the event. then don't do this to God. Worshipping God means a lot a lot to me. So much dearest to me. That my eyes opened wide and see this world. seriously. I need a great dose of peace..

i'm lost in this big world. well, simply does not know what am I to do. things aren't always for me. it's against me. well. I got to accept that fact of life. I did habour thoughts of leaving church. because I'm utterly disappointed when my eyes opened and saw the flaws. I was grieved. I asked Who really is God? why do ppl treat Him in such way. Including me. My eyes opened and now I see. I see it all. I've thought of giving up. Hiding away from God. Doing a lot of things. But it came to no avail though. it's pointless sometimes. had a long walk on Friday night down the streets of orchard. I enjoyed walking thru in the midst of people alone. thinking. I've never stop thinking for a moment. I'm no longer that simple person anymore. I'm looking into the motives of why people do things. I've lost the faith I had in many friends. I have only 2 friends that I can really trust. That's God and sarah phua that He sent to stand by me. I'm happy about that. why did I lost that faith you can ask. I've been thru a setback that I've not yet to be overcomed. the why did ppl do this. whatever it is. it was disappointment. Faith in friends. Friends that were close to me were no longer close to my heart. I habour doubts of them. my feelings towards the word FRIENDSHIP.

how do i start this post. I've officially sank into the collapse syndrome. I can faint and collapse anytime. I'm so weak I feel. I'm really tired. I really really wish I'm in a coma sleeping. this world is so busy. I cant handle it anymore. I've no time with God which I want. I cant study. I'm really tired. But still I want to walk with His will in my heart. IVP is in September. that fears me alot. I cant take it.I don't know. of course. not just that. I couldn't worship God on sunday I realised. why? i also dunno. I'm tired. I'm really tired. I need to rest. But I find no rest. So ppl. Pls don't ask me to do anything. it's not within my capability anymore.i cant do anything. all I want is to sleep. there's simply nothing called leisure to me. come on. I'm not even working yet. I'm just a student. BUSY BUMBLE Bee. that's me. Collapsed.

went down to somewhere yesterday afternoon to take photos. so beautiful. motion photos. but I guess. I love the time I spent with God there. In everything, I'll hide there when I'm in sorrow and when I'm happy. I'll appear right there. When I'm free I take long walks there. Well, ppl thinks I'm crazy. But I'm not.though it is kind of lonely. But it's relaxing. Getting away from this world. that's I fear. I don't know why though. I guess, what's impt now is having Faith in God. trusting that when I pray for a friend of mine. which I never ever talk to. though how good he is a runner. one of the reason I don't talk to him because I don't even see him before and he saw me carrying a guitar and knows I play that. kind of weird. ever since. I've decided nt to talk to him. yup. I'm praying that there'll be a way that I'll be able to talk to him abt Christ and be good friends with him. Well, many things he have and does amazes everyone. it doesn't really amaze me. so weird but ya. I guess. I have to step out of my comfort zone and talk to him. because he tried talking to me. but i shun him... so bad right. guilty now... alright. I'll pray and make the effort. hopefully he'll be there tml for training.

broke down. I broke down. total broke down. DISAPPOINTMENT. yup. True Friends VS Friends that are only there when they need you. Ok. let me tell u this. I cant take friends that are like that. Because I LOATHE being USED. alright. I'm not a HELP LINE.. alright that will help u 24/7. I said it before. Stop asking me abt IT stuff. I don't want to hear that anymore. It's a pressure to me. I cant accept that. yup. alright. I'm feelinga bit better now. But still, please. Emotionally, I am still not stable now. don't irritate me. don't do nonsense things. don't ever try. I am feeling horrible right now ok. Because things are not going right. The way I feel.

I guess. No one comes here anymore.. Because it seemed so empty and all. But it's alright. Let it be. Let it be. Let it be. Disappointment. Well what I said everyone thought it was nonsense. But at least I know there is one on earth that understand what and why I said it. thanks to that person.. told everything I felt and solutions to it.. I feel quite relieved. Now define FRIENDS. what do you mean by being a friend. I'll try my best to keep it going.

i cant tolerate it any longer. I'm sorry to say that. but I still have to say it. I know I have to. Someone tell me. What I see is it the way things are now. Youth ministry. After you are sec 4 in church. Everyone will naturally become a sec1 cell leader, intern what so ever. It seems like a graduation process. then after being cell leader, cell labourer, then supervisor and so on... Can I ask is this right. It just across to me. Does God really want this. Youth leaders, are they really serving wholeheartedly? God just reminded me this verse. Which I failed I know. Serve the Lord your God wholeheartedly. But not half heartedly. God does not need your service. Get this clear first. God is MOST HIGH. He can do anything. He doesn't need us to do such things for Him. He is God. alright. sorry. I'm really have no idea what to say. the attitude of youth leaders. I can't take it. sorry yup. I mean to serve in youth aren't for us to say. I seriously hope. The next batch of leaders pray and ask what God wants them to do. this has been a culture. I would dare say. i cant take it much longer. I mean. I don't know why I'm seeing all these flaws. But I do not know why. I feel that God wants to change us. I seriously do not know how. And to me, I'm very affected by such things. I'm really unhappy and all. Because I know in all things seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. But things aren't seem to be that way. God I pray, I pray that I won't be so paranoid with this, so frustrated with all this, but learn to pray to You and ask for PATIENCE, LOVE, to change the way THINGS are now that they honour YOU first in all things and seek first your kingdom and righteous above all things. I ask in Your mighty name. Amen.

-sorry marcus, made u really frustrated. with all these.

alright. announcement ppl. RED RAIN a christian band from australia is coming to Singapore on 27 May to 28 May 2006. If you want to go. Let me know ya. I'll tell you how to get your tickets. I'm going !! even it's alone I don't mind. Through it I know God will put an experience for me to learn and know. So yup. check their site out alright? www.redrain.sg Invite your friends... (: It's Saturday 3 to 6 p.m...

I'm utterly busy. so busy till I drop. so tired. I've got 2 assignments due this weekend. one is my E commerce assignment on web design and all. Should not be a big problem. I guess. The other one is harder. I've to get 25 photos by this weekend. Lord I pray that You'll provide those pictures. Well they aren't normal day to day photos. I've got a standard to meet. 5 categories of photos. They are, framing, Golden mean, moving into space, 1/3 and 2/3 , Frame inside frame. And Get Inside the action. I wonder how. big problem yup. big one coming my way. But look photos are great. daddy is giving me his full support on photography of course. He's a big fan of photography. Seems like I really take after my dad with sports, the computers, as well as fans of cameras and what types of cameras does what. Learning about shutters and apertures. Well, I've trying out new things. I've went for scrapbook design today. amazing. I love it. rahs love it too. had a fun time. I had a fun time with my baby pictures. so cute. haha. I love it loads. haha. the pictures above we took it ourselves. cool right. using the timer of course :) rahs. let's go again there soon again :)

30 KD - 30s kneel down.
[ this is a short 30s prayer before school starts each day (:]


1. Give Thanks to God
God, I bow my knee in humility to You. I know that Your loving presence will be with me all day. Thank You for loving me today. I love You, too!
matt 22:37
Love God with all your heart, with all your soul and your mind.

2. God touch my friends and people around me!
God, touch the teachers, administration and students in my school today. One touch from You, Father, can change someone's destiny.Touch them through me
matt 22:39
Love Your neighbour as yourself.

3. God tell them!
God, the message of Jesus' love for my school must be told. use me as the messenger. I will tell those around me how much You love them.
Matt 28 :18-20
make disciples of all nations.

- got this as I was reading a new book which I bought :) so decided to share with people. how busy you are. I'm sure you do have 30s at least. Through 30s, you'll grow to become say 30 mins prayer person. Prayer is the way to all things.

samsam
Ngee Ann
love de-sign
psalms 27:4

a lady that is striving to dwell in the house of the Lord
who is learning to see God's greater purpose for her
who wakes up and learns to be thankful for her blessings

I'm back. stressed out. so stress.. pulling my hair now. argh. So busy. guess what. I have full packed holidays.. the 2 weeks. How about that. I only have 1 day of holiday I say. From now till 23 June is fully packed already. It meant no movies, no hanging out and all. Then after 23 June would be project dateline. I feel like horrible. so tired. I've been skipping trainings. well. I'm not going to care anymore. I'm super tired and need a break. I have so many things going on..I'm going a day earlier for church camp. yeah!! take a break. then 15 June when camp ends. I got to rush to my friend's place to do project. staying over again. right. but I love my group. My darlings. haha. Well, my group rocks. they are basically all girls. so like a girls night out! hee. alright. projects projects and projects. Then 19th June is my cell outing. woo Hoo. Finally. shawn and serene. finalise things alright. well, then 21 to 23 june is sonicfest. what more can I say. I've been waiting for it for a long time. A wonderful holiday with God huh? All my days are spent in church camp.. church friends of course my best friend from church. hee. I still cant get the graffiti shirt that marcus wong wore out of my mind. It's really cool and nice. I want to be able to such de-signs one day. I'm off to start mugging. have not even touch IEF yet. I better start. alright. tata.

went to church of our saviour today. to get some registration stuff done. i've registered sonicfest bootcamp with sarah. I need to hear God. I've been going sonicfest for 3 years already.. Yup. I'm very happy with this. Met the festival director. marcus. I've seen him last year because I was in sonicfest crew too. then I reach there early. thank God they came very quickly to save me from that afternoon heat.. phew. Well, I'm happy because I signed up early and I'm simply paying 15 dollars per person for the conference. :) . Well, I'm not going to ask who wants to sign up anymore. because, no one is interested but I am. I'm very happy serving God there at sonicfest. so yup. I'll go back there once again. I like the shirt though.. whatever it is.. I'll start saving till sonicfest.. T-shirts. i want them.. haha. I love the grafitit t shirt :) well.. I got to mug now.. thanks joel for the email. I'll try to remember it..

right i went crazy again. When everyone got all the music instruments. for the L shape room in SU campsite. I said why have all the instruments. 1 guitar is already enough.. Does we need so much instruments to worship God. Or is it for the fun the music is worship to God.I could not even define worship myself. Well thanks samwong. Worship is about giving and pure adoration. moments of refreshing are bonuses from God. That is what worship really is. There's no need to go get drums bass keyboard guitars and everything. I guess. I'm having a big problem. I'm losing all the faith. Basically.. I have 0 faith with people. But for very few. I still have some left. But most . I have zero faith. That I could not trust anyone right now. Because I'll search into the motives of people. Why are u doing that. You claim you're doing for God. But how sure are you doing for God. I'm doubting. I'm suspecting. That's what I'm going thru. Then, God gave me a verse. Jesus said to her." I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this ? John 11:25-26. All i need is just believe in God. Don't trust in the world anymore. because I'll end up getting hurt once again. Losing the hope He gave. the Hope he returned me.I guess I'm the one who believes in God and will live though even I die. which meant. I'll just have to believe in God. Even how bad it is . You feel even like crap or anything. I simply have to trust God. Indeed. my thinking have deepened.. so much so much.. I'm thinking too much too much.. I'm so tired of everything. I've stepped out of tapestry because of similar reasons. I don't know what is the objective to tapestry. what's the goal of it.. to train musicians. or is it really for outreach. If you want to chuck in outreach because it's a church thing. I guess it's wrong. Because of this you want that. Is it correct ? it's half right and wrong. But I don't want to chuck in God like in the middle of such things. If you have never put God right for the goal of the event. then don't do this to God. Worshipping God means a lot a lot to me. So much dearest to me. That my eyes opened wide and see this world. seriously. I need a great dose of peace..

i'm lost in this big world. well, simply does not know what am I to do. things aren't always for me. it's against me. well. I got to accept that fact of life. I did habour thoughts of leaving church. because I'm utterly disappointed when my eyes opened and saw the flaws. I was grieved. I asked Who really is God? why do ppl treat Him in such way. Including me. My eyes opened and now I see. I see it all. I've thought of giving up. Hiding away from God. Doing a lot of things. But it came to no avail though. it's pointless sometimes. had a long walk on Friday night down the streets of orchard. I enjoyed walking thru in the midst of people alone. thinking. I've never stop thinking for a moment. I'm no longer that simple person anymore. I'm looking into the motives of why people do things. I've lost the faith I had in many friends. I have only 2 friends that I can really trust. That's God and sarah phua that He sent to stand by me. I'm happy about that. why did I lost that faith you can ask. I've been thru a setback that I've not yet to be overcomed. the why did ppl do this. whatever it is. it was disappointment. Faith in friends. Friends that were close to me were no longer close to my heart. I habour doubts of them. my feelings towards the word FRIENDSHIP.

how do i start this post. I've officially sank into the collapse syndrome. I can faint and collapse anytime. I'm so weak I feel. I'm really tired. I really really wish I'm in a coma sleeping. this world is so busy. I cant handle it anymore. I've no time with God which I want. I cant study. I'm really tired. But still I want to walk with His will in my heart. IVP is in September. that fears me alot. I cant take it.I don't know. of course. not just that. I couldn't worship God on sunday I realised. why? i also dunno. I'm tired. I'm really tired. I need to rest. But I find no rest. So ppl. Pls don't ask me to do anything. it's not within my capability anymore.i cant do anything. all I want is to sleep. there's simply nothing called leisure to me. come on. I'm not even working yet. I'm just a student. BUSY BUMBLE Bee. that's me. Collapsed.

went down to somewhere yesterday afternoon to take photos. so beautiful. motion photos. but I guess. I love the time I spent with God there. In everything, I'll hide there when I'm in sorrow and when I'm happy. I'll appear right there. When I'm free I take long walks there. Well, ppl thinks I'm crazy. But I'm not.though it is kind of lonely. But it's relaxing. Getting away from this world. that's I fear. I don't know why though. I guess, what's impt now is having Faith in God. trusting that when I pray for a friend of mine. which I never ever talk to. though how good he is a runner. one of the reason I don't talk to him because I don't even see him before and he saw me carrying a guitar and knows I play that. kind of weird. ever since. I've decided nt to talk to him. yup. I'm praying that there'll be a way that I'll be able to talk to him abt Christ and be good friends with him. Well, many things he have and does amazes everyone. it doesn't really amaze me. so weird but ya. I guess. I have to step out of my comfort zone and talk to him. because he tried talking to me. but i shun him... so bad right. guilty now... alright. I'll pray and make the effort. hopefully he'll be there tml for training.

broke down. I broke down. total broke down. DISAPPOINTMENT. yup. True Friends VS Friends that are only there when they need you. Ok. let me tell u this. I cant take friends that are like that. Because I LOATHE being USED. alright. I'm not a HELP LINE.. alright that will help u 24/7. I said it before. Stop asking me abt IT stuff. I don't want to hear that anymore. It's a pressure to me. I cant accept that. yup. alright. I'm feelinga bit better now. But still, please. Emotionally, I am still not stable now. don't irritate me. don't do nonsense things. don't ever try. I am feeling horrible right now ok. Because things are not going right. The way I feel.

I guess. No one comes here anymore.. Because it seemed so empty and all. But it's alright. Let it be. Let it be. Let it be. Disappointment. Well what I said everyone thought it was nonsense. But at least I know there is one on earth that understand what and why I said it. thanks to that person.. told everything I felt and solutions to it.. I feel quite relieved. Now define FRIENDS. what do you mean by being a friend. I'll try my best to keep it going.

i cant tolerate it any longer. I'm sorry to say that. but I still have to say it. I know I have to. Someone tell me. What I see is it the way things are now. Youth ministry. After you are sec 4 in church. Everyone will naturally become a sec1 cell leader, intern what so ever. It seems like a graduation process. then after being cell leader, cell labourer, then supervisor and so on... Can I ask is this right. It just across to me. Does God really want this. Youth leaders, are they really serving wholeheartedly? God just reminded me this verse. Which I failed I know. Serve the Lord your God wholeheartedly. But not half heartedly. God does not need your service. Get this clear first. God is MOST HIGH. He can do anything. He doesn't need us to do such things for Him. He is God. alright. sorry. I'm really have no idea what to say. the attitude of youth leaders. I can't take it. sorry yup. I mean to serve in youth aren't for us to say. I seriously hope. The next batch of leaders pray and ask what God wants them to do. this has been a culture. I would dare say. i cant take it much longer. I mean. I don't know why I'm seeing all these flaws. But I do not know why. I feel that God wants to change us. I seriously do not know how. And to me, I'm very affected by such things. I'm really unhappy and all. Because I know in all things seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. But things aren't seem to be that way. God I pray, I pray that I won't be so paranoid with this, so frustrated with all this, but learn to pray to You and ask for PATIENCE, LOVE, to change the way THINGS are now that they honour YOU first in all things and seek first your kingdom and righteous above all things. I ask in Your mighty name. Amen.

-sorry marcus, made u really frustrated. with all these.

alright. announcement ppl. RED RAIN a christian band from australia is coming to Singapore on 27 May to 28 May 2006. If you want to go. Let me know ya. I'll tell you how to get your tickets. I'm going !! even it's alone I don't mind. Through it I know God will put an experience for me to learn and know. So yup. check their site out alright? www.redrain.sg Invite your friends... (: It's Saturday 3 to 6 p.m...

I'm utterly busy. so busy till I drop. so tired. I've got 2 assignments due this weekend. one is my E commerce assignment on web design and all. Should not be a big problem. I guess. The other one is harder. I've to get 25 photos by this weekend. Lord I pray that You'll provide those pictures. Well they aren't normal day to day photos. I've got a standard to meet. 5 categories of photos. They are, framing, Golden mean, moving into space, 1/3 and 2/3 , Frame inside frame. And Get Inside the action. I wonder how. big problem yup. big one coming my way. But look photos are great. daddy is giving me his full support on photography of course. He's a big fan of photography. Seems like I really take after my dad with sports, the computers, as well as fans of cameras and what types of cameras does what. Learning about shutters and apertures. Well, I've trying out new things. I've went for scrapbook design today. amazing. I love it. rahs love it too. had a fun time. I had a fun time with my baby pictures. so cute. haha. I love it loads. haha. the pictures above we took it ourselves. cool right. using the timer of course :) rahs. let's go again there soon again :)

30 KD - 30s kneel down.
[ this is a short 30s prayer before school starts each day (:]


1. Give Thanks to God
God, I bow my knee in humility to You. I know that Your loving presence will be with me all day. Thank You for loving me today. I love You, too!
matt 22:37
Love God with all your heart, with all your soul and your mind.

2. God touch my friends and people around me!
God, touch the teachers, administration and students in my school today. One touch from You, Father, can change someone's destiny.Touch them through me
matt 22:39
Love Your neighbour as yourself.

3. God tell them!
God, the message of Jesus' love for my school must be told. use me as the messenger. I will tell those around me how much You love them.
Matt 28 :18-20
make disciples of all nations.

- got this as I was reading a new book which I bought :) so decided to share with people. how busy you are. I'm sure you do have 30s at least. Through 30s, you'll grow to become say 30 mins prayer person. Prayer is the way to all things.

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